GLASGOW
ALIENS – STU WHO?
A song I recorded maybe a decade back, with the help of my son, Kahl, and friends, Paul Dowie on guitar, and Paul Cotton doing the recording
The topic of UFO’s and alien overlords still haunts many, whereas I believe the aliens are definitely amongst us … they’re called Capitalists
ALIENS
Unidentified Flying Objectivity
There’s aliens about, so, watch out
It might be you
It might be me
You look alright, but I still got my doubts
Everybody’s suspect, no one’s innocent
All taking part in an alien experiment
Filling us with chemicals and changing our air
I wonder if you are aware
We are surrounded by aliens
In every town, there’s an alien
Don’t look round
There’s an alien
And there’s no running away
Everybody’s talking ’bout alien visitors
Contemplation of invasion
All they need is good solicitors
Legalising murder and mass starvation
Jobs as policemen and policewomen
They ain’t half funny
And they ain’t half-human
It might get better
It might get worse
When Earth becomes the nigger of the Universe
They don’t have tails
They don’t have tentacles
They wear nice suits and gold-rimmed spectacles
Changing slowly
Changing time
Changing bodies and changing minds
Taking over the population
Effecting a mass mutation
Your resistances will be overcome
Your disbelief at what I’m saying
Is the first symptom
We are surrounded by aliens
In every town, there’s an alien
Don’t look round
There’s an alien
And there’s no running away
Unidentified Flying Objectivity
There’s aliens about
So, WATCH OUT
Tell Me Why – Stu Who?
My latest wee vid, done whilst trying out new editing software, as a learning exercise … and a long, slow fukken annoying process it was
I did the music on an old steam-driven prog … vox added on the laptop … rather lo-fi, but that’s the way I like it
After lotsa mistakes and hassles, I give up … this’ll have to do
The next one will be better … as I dumped that software and will start afresh
The words are from poem that I wrote, performed over a bit of music that I also wrote, and played, … they just fitted perfectly together somehow
“Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings” sounds like screen directions for a crap, porn film … but it also has that ring of truth to it … Kids can ask the most naive and simplistic of questions that cut through the bullshit and flim-flam, getting right to the heart of the matter … the real questions which need answering
THE FUNNY FARM
The Funny Farm was a co-operative of new comedians, based in Glasgow, in the 1989-90 period. We were a varied bunch, thrown together by necessity in our need to do-it-ourselves, as there was literally no comedy scene whatsoever at that time in Scotland, outside of the mainstream club comics, and pantomime and summer season vaudevilians.
We set up our own gigs in pubs, clubs, and community centres … did improv comedy and workshop nights, and in the course of a couple of years established ourselves to the extent that Scottish Television recorded an eponymous series of stand-up comedy, based around our members, which I hosted each week, on Friday, late-night
The original Funny Farm members were a lovely bunch of people … keen, funny, and great to have as friends … our enthusiasm and obvious enjoyment spilled onto the stage, and it was a great experience to be involved with such a fine bunch
Here’s a foto of myself, Parrot and Bruce Morton
Here are some really low quality shots, taken from a contact sheet I found, of some of the original gang.
DAVID COSGROVE / KEVIN KOPFSTEIN
FRED MAC AULEY / GORDON ROBERTSON
BORIS VESTA (LEWIS MACLEOD)
MAY MACREADIE / STEWART MACDONALD
The Funny Farm tv series, was produced by the wonderful Kim Kinnie, whose Comedy Store connections in London allowed the show to feature guest artistes of an astonishing quality and pedigree, such as Bill Hicks, Lee Evans, Jo Brand, Jimmy Tingle, Sean Lock, Nick Revell, Paul Merton, Eddie Izzard, The Comedy Store Players, and practically every good comedian who appeared at the Edinburgh Fringe over the years the show was broadcast
MUSKY THE WUSKIE
CLICK ON THE DRAWINGS TO ENLARGE
I’d forgotten about these illustrations, done for a wee story I wrote
The first drawing is a view of the Land Of The Celts, where Musky The Wuskie was born
The second is an illustration of The Grand Wazoo, indulging in the ceremonial act of, Sky Ski-ing , and was done to accompany a story I wrote about a wee character called Musky The Wusky – who is trying to save his village from the influence of the marauding Pictish hordes.
The long road you see in the 2nd drawing, runs through a 23-mile long canyon, which was eventually flooded, and is now known as Loch Ness
And, here is Musky, leaving home to set off to find his fortune and save the tribes colour fields, where all the world’s colours and hues are grown & harvested.
FUCK CLUB
The Big Electron – Kahl & Stu
Many years ago, some 10-15 … I’m not at all sure … my son Kahl wrote and produced a lovely wee bit of squelchy synth dance … I then added piano and guitar noises and now, many years on, I’ve added some spoken word and some collage images to create this wee vid
Hope you like it
CHOU PAHROT LIVE
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As I related in an earlier post,… https://stuwho.wordpress.com/2012/02/16/chou-pahrot/ … the mighty Chou Pahrot were a weird 70’s Glasgow phenomenon that only the truly stoned & deranged could and would appreciate
A cacophony of deranged syncopation and discordant mayhem which would take you to the point of teeth-gritting surrender, and would then suddenly drop off a cliff of feedback and bass to emerge as a beautiful violin melody of exquisite toe-tapping sensibility … and all done with a huge tongue wedged in a Clydesdale horse’s cheek
Their studio recordings were enjoyable diversions but could never even come close to the sonic assault of musical claustrophobia and joyous dementia that their live performances could induce
Here is a hissy, old recording of that experience that is worth the effort … if you dare
Not for the faint-hearted
Chou Pahrot – Live at the STUC Birthday Party, in 197?ish
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http://soundcloud.com/chou-pahrot
PPPPickup a Penguin Koby 2012
Mall Teaser
Sculptor, Tony Morrow, famous for his Loby Dosser & El Fideldo statue in Woodlands Rd, used to live near me, in Kildrum, here in Cumbernauld. At that time, he was a fireman, hadn’t yet been to art-school, and was a mate of mine .. with a great sense of humour. The first time I ever visited his flat, I sat down on the couch, as he went to put the kettle on, and I started to skin-up, a wee number on his large coffee table
Situated at the opposite end of the table was a box of Maltesers … but a box which was maybe four or five times bigger than even the biggest, family size, Malteser box
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“That’s some fukkin size of a box of Maltesers, Tony!” I shouted through to Tony in the kitchen
“I love Maltesers. Have one” he shouted back
I lifted the partially opened flap top of the box.
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‘
Inside was one HUGE brown, chocolate Malteser, the size of a volleyball.
“But don’t eat the last one” Tony shouted ….
STU WHO? 