These workmen are installing bollards to stop nurses from parking on the pavement outside a Hospital in Dublin ………
They are cleaning up at the end of the day.
How long do you think it will be before they realise that they can’t go home?
This is a real photograph…!
How can you tell this table
is being sold by a man?
And don’t cheat either!! It’s not hard to tell!!
This table was for sale on eBay. How can you tell it is being sold by a man?
Can you solve this little riddle? First look and guess.
You will find the answer below, but don’t cheat!
Know the answer?
If not, scroll down now…..
OK, Look in the mirror.
Remember, if you are posting
a picture on the world-wide web,
WEAR CLOTHES
when taking the picture.
However, each time the serial offender was stopped he managed to evade justice by giving a different address.
But then his cover was blown.
It was discovered that the man every member of the Irish police’s rank and file had been looking for – a Mr Prawo Jazdy – wasn’t exactly the sort of prized villain whose apprehension leads to an officer winning an award.
In fact he wasn’t even human.
” Prawo Jazdy is actually the Polish for driving licence and not the first and surname on the licence,” read a letter from June 2007 from an officer working within the Garda’s traffic division.
“Having noticed this, I decided to check and see how many times officers have made this mistake.
“It is quite embarrassing to see that the system has created Prawo Jazdy as a person with over 50 identities.”
The officer added that the “mistake” needed to be rectified immediately and asked that a memo be circulated throughout the force.
In a bid to avoid similar mistakes being made in future relevant guidelines were also amended.
And if nothing else is learnt from this driving-related debacle, Irish police officers should now know at least two words of Polish.
As for the seemingly elusive Mr Prawo Jazdy, he has presumably become a cult hero among Ireland’s second largest immigrant population.
These are some panels from a strip which I photo-montaged
from some classic Lone Ranger strips of the past
For anyone interested in comic books, graphic novels, etc,
with a distinctly Scottish slant in respect of artists and writers
Check This Out:
http://scottishcartoonists.ning.com/
This is a photo of the world’s tallest building, currently under construction,
the Burj Complex in Dubai.
WITH THANX TO RAB FOR THIS
SHOCK VERSUS OFFENCE
If Ross Noble’s wife had died in the Australian bush fires, would it have been ok to tell jokes about it?
As a comedian of some 20 years standing, who has never been slow in using shock value and swearing onstage, I find myself strangely adrift in the course of the present debate about offensive statements and offensive comedy
The present debate concerning comedy-nasties has left me feeling slightly bemused, as I find myself hearing some of my fellow comedians using material which I find juvenile, unfunny, and deliberately offensive for offence’s sake … and I’m then supposed to defend their actions because I’m also a shock-comedian, or in some cases, because they’re my friends
I find a wealth of difference between the social commentary of George Carlin, whose use of so-called “swear-words” may well cause upset to those of a particular moral stance, and the behaviour of someone whose comedic stance is the equivalent of poking a stick, with a lump of shite on its end, into in you face … for a laugh!
George Carlin’s well-crafted wordplay forwarded a level of debate and is creatively inspiring, as was Bill Hicks, Lenny Bruce, and many other comedians of that genre
They had a point to make … and used “shock”, as part of a wider palette of colours, to paint a composition that was both emotive & informative.
And … more importantly … bloody innovative, and fukking funny!!
Wee boys with shitey sticks are bloody annoying … and deliberately so!
There is a HUGE difference, artistically, morally, and hygienically, between the two … and the most depressing part of this debate is that some talented, intelligent grown-ups are actually siding with the shitey-stick brigade, and will never be persuaded by any logical debate on the subject, because “people laugh at what we say, so they must agree, so I must be right”
Take the current rash of cruel, insensitive, Jade Goody jokes which abound; I’ve heard them being justified because she’s “a minger, a midden, a racist, a tub of lard, and a publicity hungry cow”
The fact that someone is stupid, and has no social standing, or defence, seemingly gives us the right to abuse them for our entertainment
In the good old days of the 18th century, at the Bethlehem and St Mary’s Mental Hospital, or Bedlam as it became known, people used to go to stare at the lunatics. “For a penny one could peer into their cells, view the freaks of the “show of Bethlehem” and laugh at their antics, generally of a sexual nature or violent fights. Entry was free on the first Tuesday of the month. Visitors were permitted to bring long sticks with which to poke and enrage the inmates. In 1814 alone, there were 96,000 such visits.”
Top viewing figures … !!!
So it must have been a legitimate form of entertainment … right?
“Freedom of Speech” is usually the flag that’s waved by those defending what may be termed “offensive” material, while a counter-claim for the legitimacy of “Freedom of Action” has been used as the excuse from those outraged punters who subsequently punched comedian Jerry Sadowitz in Montreal, or Jim Jeffries in Manchester.
If you claim the right to say what you want, then I claim the right to do what I want
“Say that about me & mine, … even if they are racist, moronic middens … and I’ll kill you!!”
You started it … !!!
If you want “Freedom” then I think you’ll find it ain’t free … there’s a price … and that price is “Responsibility”
Accepting a level of responsibility for your actions is part of growing up
Surely, “The prime job of a comedian is to make people laugh” and that is where I maintain the difference exists, in that shock value is a very different beast from offense
Shocking can be funny … whereas, offence is offensive, by it’s very nature
My contention is that an offensive statement, by definition, is never funny … it’s offensive
So, to say:
“I think if it’s funny enough, it doesn’t matter if it’s offensive.” Just doesn’t make sense, as the one precludes the other
You might well be “telling the truth” when you say that someone is “fat and ugly, and a moronic bitch”, … you might even have said it in a funny context … but if you say it about a violent gangster’s 25 stone wife, then you’ll get what you bloody well deserve
That is taking the responsibility for your actions
And if you say it to puny geek’s wife, ‘cos you’ve no fear of reprisal, then you’re no more than a coward, and a bully!
Why do you have a need to say it? – Because it’s the truth, and you’re a social commentator?
But, as a “comedian” your “prime” job is to be funny … not a social commentator; that is secondary?
Who finds such offensive jokes funny?
Ehmmm?
Moronic bitches and retarded middens … !!
So, you’re entertaining the very mentality that you’re criticizing, by lowering yourself to their level … hmmm? … interesting.
I’m intrigued by those who seem highly knowledgeable about the relevant websites and press coverage exploiting Jade’s situation … which would seem to suggest that they also slavishly follow, and read, these items in the mainstream press & media “aimed at morons”
I’m also intrigued by the contention that Jade’s attempts at earning money from her appearances on TV … however untalented they may be … make her a “media-whore” and therefore a suitable target for abuse, whereas other media figures like Kylie Minogue who “deserve their fame” because they’re “talented”, should get sympathy in their fight against cancer
We’re ALL media whores … some of us just don’t command higher fees , and if “talent” is the criteria …. ???
Glass-houses – stones?
I’m also very intrigued by those comedians who criticise Jade Goody as “publicity-hungry” and who are simultaneously desperate for media exposure for their own careers in comedy
When, and if, their own moment of fame does come, the perverse coincidence of “cosmic balance” which often occurs in life, might just deal them a harsh lesson.
To be facing a friend or family member’s death, whether by cancer, Aids, starvation, or bush fire, and to hear so-called “jokes” about your own loved-one’s death & suffering must be truly hurtful, and add immeasurably to the pain that you’re already going through
I really hope it doesn’t happen to any of my fellow comedians … because nobody deserves that
NOBODY
xxx
stu
PS
I don’t expect those who think it’s ok to tell such jokes to change their opinion one little bit.
They have every right to their opinion, and I support that right.
I just find it sad that they can’t see the hurt they cause. Although many might agree with them on an average night of comedy, many also leave aggrieved & upset … and THAT surely is against everything that comedy is, and should be
Make’em laugh … all of’em
Tell the truth and shame the devil
In a week where a 72 year old milkman was prosecuted for supplying customers, on his milk-round, with cannabis to “relieve their aches & pains”, where an eight gold medal Olympian was “exposed & vilified” in photographs, smoking a cannabis pipe, and where a government scientist would express the opinion that “taking ecstasy was no more dangerous than horse-riding”, and be castigated for expressing this informed opinion, in both the media & in parliament, … in a week like this, what do our younger members of society make of all this contradictory information?
Hmmm? Probably, that our government talks shite, and is at odds with the verifiable facts on drugs, and that this exposes the contradictory opinions & laws it extols, and maybe that the booze-ridden world of journalism should clean up its own house before casting aspersions & stones at the glasshouse of other’s behaviour.
1 “72 year old milkman prosecuted for supplying cannabis”: The really shocking part of that statement is that a 72 year old is still working as a milkman!! Is he still forced to get up at 05.00 am every day because he’s a wealthy eccentric, or because his pension is insufficient to meet his basic needs. Is his altruism in selling cannabis to others also a way of paying for his own wee bit? If it was supplied legally, or if he was in an economic position to afford it, then he wouldn’t be criminalized in this disgusting manner. Prosecute him? I’d give the old bugger a bloody medal.
2 “Olympian, Michael Phelps, record-breaking winner of 8 gold medals, caught on film smoking cannabis”: This rather makes a nonsense of all those “scare-stories” surrounding the myth of lazy dope-smoking ne’er-do-wells. How many medals would he have won if he wasn’t a stoner? He would maybe have won EVERY event at the last Olympics … including the equestrian events, without even using a horse. – Now, I’ve been a regular cannabis user for the past 30 years, happily married for nearly 40 years, and have raised 2 kids, who are now highly successful, well adjusted individuals in their own right, and have actively pursued my own careers to the point that I’ve been accused of being a workaholic. Hmmm? Lazy dope-smoker? These facts seem rather at odds with the propaganda we are fed on cannabis and its use
3 “Government scientist expresses opinion that ecstasy is no more dangerous than horse-riding”: Once again, as on topics such as environmental awareness, global climate change, evolution versus intelligent design, building more airports, encouraging public transport rather than encouraging & rewarding car manufactures, … once again, the politicians ignore the opinions of the independent experts who study the facts, and choose instead to follow the needs of industry, or the fear-mongering, vested interests of the media. Alcohol, and sugar are two of the biggest health threats as addictive drugs in our society, yet our governments chose to have a convenient “blind-spot” in their nanny-state mentality … but choose to vilify certain minority groups & their behaviour ie the young, or the unconventional
Taking ecstasy undoubtedly has its risk factor … as has skiing, mountain climbing, horse riding, and the plethora of extreme, or dangerous, sports that young people are actively encouraged to participate in, as character-building experiences
Bit of double standards here, eh?
And THAT is the dangerous part of all this bullshit, I fear
There are dangers to taking ecstasy, to smoking dope, and to extreme sports … and young people have a tendency to dismiss ALL advice or warnings, particularly when they find out that the people dispensing the advice are hypocritical, two-faced, one-rule-for-us-another-for-you, lying bastards
They ignore the good advice with the bad
Tell the truth and shame the devil
That was my gran’s advice, and for better or worse, that’s what I did with my own kids
I told them the truth about my own drink & drug use, and gave them TRUTHFULLY whatever information I knew on the subject … and, surprisingly, they’ve shown no desire to rebel, or be adventurous, in that respect, and have a healthy informed attitude
So, it turns out that my years of drug-fuelled, alcoholic madness served as an informed warning & lesson for my kids … I did it all for them!!
Aaaah … the sacrifices I’ve made for those kids!!
We live in a mad world of paradox
How za bout this for example …?????
FREE DUMB
STU WHO? 