Over the years, I’ve done quite a few prison gigs, including running prisoner’s comedy classes, and various concerts in chapels and dining halls

In a strange way, they were some of the most rewarding and enjoyable gigs I’ve ever done

Firstly, the audience is sober and unstoned

Or, allegedly so – ?

Secondly, these guys don’t laugh unless they want to, and there’s quite a bit of pressure to look hard, be tough, and don’t laugh

So, not an easy crowd

But when they do relax, and have a laugh, it’s an amazingly receptive crowd of guys, who could fair do with a laugh – anyone who seriously believes that life in jail is cushy and easy is a fukken eejit – and a fukken eejit who has never been inside

This documents a gig compered and organised by Alan Anderson, with myself and Scott Agnew doing the funnies



A gig at Barlinnie Prison Glasgow in 2008 was great fun, and a reminder of past gigs I did in various prisons back in the 90’s.  Unfortunately, a twat journalist on Glasgow’s Evening Times newspaper ran a sensationalist article along the lines of

“TV Star Does Private Jail Gigs For Drug Barons”,

and all further gigs were banned forthwith … grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

As part of HMP Barlinnie’s Mental Health Awareness and Outreach Programme for inmates, I was asked to come to the famous Glasgow prison to perform for those inmates who had actively taken part in the scheme.

 I did this new gig organised by Alan Anderson, and accompanied by Scottish Comedian of The Year 2008, Scott Agnew, and all three of us had a belter of a night, as did the audience

At the start of my spot, I used the opening from my current one-man-show:

“Are there any Eejits in the house?”

which was met with a bit of a stony silence … to which I replied:

“I beg to differ, gentlemen … have you had a look where you are?

Barlinnie Prison?

You all look like a right bunch of eejits to me”

By the end of my spot, I repeated the question, regarding any Eejits in the house, and was greeted with a huge, rousing cheer of assent

What a result …. excellent.