Over the years, I’ve done quite a few prison gigs, including running prisoner’s comedy classes, and various concerts in chapels and dining halls

In a strange way, they were some of the most rewarding and enjoyable gigs I’ve ever done

Firstly, the audience is sober and unstoned

Or, allegedly so – ?

Secondly, these guys don’t laugh unless they want to, and there’s quite a bit of pressure to look hard, be tough, and don’t laugh

So, not an easy crowd

But when they do relax, and have a laugh, it’s an amazingly receptive crowd of guys, who could fair do with a laugh – anyone who seriously believes that life in jail is cushy and easy is a fukken eejit – and a fukken eejit who has never been inside

This documents a gig compered and organised by Alan Anderson, with myself and Scott Agnew doing the funnies

MILK – A Semi?


Well … that was a fine weekend, of 39th wedding anniversary niceness, where the lovely Madame Who?, and myself, thoroughly enjoyed a fiesta of fun, food, film, and fauna.

We went to see “MILK” … The story of California’s first openly gay elected official, Harvey Milk

Hmmmm? S’ok, I suppose … 6 outta ten

Gus Van Sant’s biog feature Sean Penn’s as Harvey Milk, and it was all very politically worthy, but left Maggi & I somehow uninvolved with the major characters, in a strange way.

To me, the movie showed the issue of Gay Rights in an isolated US context, within what was a tumultuous period of not only US history, but throughout the period of international, social & political upheaval that went through all levels of Alternative society, whether it be black, gay, hippy, biker, or whatever.

Everyone in the film seemed self-concerned, and unconcerned, with the any other political issues of the times they lived in

A bit, “up-their-own-arses” as we’d say colloquially, here in Glasgow … how apposite!!


Vietnam, Black Power, Flower Power, Feminism, Drug Wars, Class Wars, … the film never showed that stuff being a part of the bigger picture, and part of a whole era of change … and the bigger political context of Gay Rights, at that time

I reckon that Harvey was a damn sight more complex, and more interesting & entertaining than this portrays his life to have been

Bit superficial and one-dimensional, too slow, and 20 minutes too long





A gig at Barlinnie Prison Glasgow in 2008 was great fun, and a reminder of past gigs I did in various prisons back in the 90’s.  Unfortunately, a twat journalist on Glasgow’s Evening Times newspaper ran a sensationalist article along the lines of

“TV Star Does Private Jail Gigs For Drug Barons”,

and all further gigs were banned forthwith … grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

As part of HMP Barlinnie’s Mental Health Awareness and Outreach Programme for inmates, I was asked to come to the famous Glasgow prison to perform for those inmates who had actively taken part in the scheme.

 I did this new gig organised by Alan Anderson, and accompanied by Scottish Comedian of The Year 2008, Scott Agnew, and all three of us had a belter of a night, as did the audience

At the start of my spot, I used the opening from my current one-man-show:

“Are there any Eejits in the house?”

which was met with a bit of a stony silence … to which I replied:

“I beg to differ, gentlemen … have you had a look where you are?

Barlinnie Prison?

You all look like a right bunch of eejits to me”

By the end of my spot, I repeated the question, regarding any Eejits in the house, and was greeted with a huge, rousing cheer of assent

What a result …. excellent.