Mall Teaser

Sculptor, Tony Morrow, famous for his Loby Dosser & El Fideldo statue in Woodlands Rd, used to live near me, in Kildrum, here in Cumbernauld.    At that time, he was a fireman, hadn’t yet been to art-school, and was a mate of mine .. with a great sense of humour.  The first time I ever visited his flat, I sat down on the couch, as he went to put the kettle on, and I started to skin-up, a wee  number on his large coffee table

 

Situated at the opposite end of the table was a box of Maltesers … but a box which was maybe four or five times bigger than even the biggest, family size, Malteser box

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“That’s some fukkin size of a box of Maltesers, Tony!” I shouted through to Tony in the kitchen

“I love Maltesers. Have one”  he shouted back

I lifted the partially opened flap top of the box.

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Inside was one HUGE brown, chocolate Malteser, the size of a volleyball.

“But don’t eat the last one”  Tony shouted ….

Leave the last one fur me”

I doubled up, pissing myself laughing

“That is fukkin genius … You should do stuff like that professionally”  I told him … constantly for the next few years, … and eventually, he did

Over the years, I saw dozens of people fall for his little trick … he’d made the box and Maltesers, perfect to scale, and it was typical of the daft visual gags he eventually did in his sculptural work

BRIAN MILLER RIP

Brian Miller 1935-2011

Brian Miller, was an artist, writer, lover of culture and enthusiast of life
Brian was Cumbernauld’s town artist for most of its early years, and his impact on the town’s civic art, and its colourful uniqueness, was dramatic and powerful.
His contributions to the culture and arts in Cumbernauld was similarly dramatic (pun intended), as he was one of the small band of enthusiastic fanatics who established The Cottage, now Cumbernauld Theatre, as a venue for drama, music, comedy, and a wealth of community productions.
No matter what your interest, Brian would be there to lend advice, lend a hand, or even just offer transport or a sympathetic ear – his enthusiasm and support for every single facet of the arts knew no bounds.
Brian also established himself as an unofficial writer-in-residence for Cumbernauld itself, and his productions, musicals, and plays became the launching pad for the artistic aspirations of a wide-range of local wannabes, over the years …. And that included me
Brian had supported my work as an artist at The Muirfield Project, and gave us valuable assistance in establishing a screen-printing department there … assistance, without which, we’d have struggled to survive
He also, surprisingly, offered me a leading role in a play he’d written … all the more surprising as I had no acting experience, and was a mohawk-sporting nutter who fronted a very anarchistic, local band, not exactly renowned for our gentility or love of the establishment
It was a helluva chance for Brian to take, and one that turned out to be my first step on the ladder of performance arts, and the start of a brand new career.
Brian kick-started the aspirations of lots of Cumbernauld’s arts and drama community, and was a genuinely, lovely man and a true gentleman in every respect
On Saturday night, the original Cottage Theatre, and then Studio Theatre of Cumbernauld Theatre, has now been dedicated and renamed The Brian Miller Studio Theatre in Brian’s honour
And that is just as it should be
I wrote and performed a tribute for Brian, earlier in the week, at the  Cottage … and this wee poem was part of it.
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MILLER LIGHT

In every village, every job was valued for it’s worth
And people took their occupation’s name as being their own
So, Bakers, Smiths and Cooks soon became a family name
Whilst the Cobblers thought they’d leave that trend alone

But the man who ground the flour and wheat, in windmills, or by rivers
He’d take the coarsest grain the farmer grew
And turn it into something more refined, and by his efforts
Would produce the finest flour-power too

Brian was a Miller, of people and ideas
An auld hippy of that fine, old school persuasion
With a love of words and images, toy robots, and dramatics
Be they Western, Eastern, African, or Asian

It was the source of all that passion
Which he shared with oh so many
In the years he sweetly tended Cumbernauld
Like a gardener, with love and care, and total dedication
Gamely answering that question
”What’s It Called?”

Brian helped define this town, by word and deed, and vision
His enthusiasm shaped a generation
Of artists, playwrights, actors and wee chancers, just like me
His encouragement and help was inspiration

In a world portrayed as selfish, Brian was a giver
Who unselfishly encouraged all he met
I thank him for the arse-kicks that he aimed in my direction
It got me moving, and I’m eternally in his debt

Brian was a Miller, of people and ideas
His legacy in, what some still call, The Cottage
Will shine on in our memory, for many years to come
Like a spotlight of a hundred thousand wattage!!

(Piss-off … let me see you find a better rhyme for Cottage!!)

Brian gave us laughter, in a world of short supply
He gave us colour in a world of black and white
In this town of dark grey concrete, he brightened up our landscape
Illuminated by that Miller Light.

Stu Who – 2012

Going Nuts

Well, there’s been a bit of a thaw, at last … and the torrential dripping of icicles and burst pipes is music to my ears, as I’ll be gigging at the weekend without the worry of cannibalism being an issue, as my driver for the journey is one, big, hungry looking fukker to be stuck in a snowdrift with … if ye get ma snow-drift


The thaw, and the replenishing of nuts in the garden, has brought back the squirrels … hooray … they survived the extremes of temperature … and with an astonishing agility, and an arrogant confidence that makes me wonder if peanuts are the woodland equivalent of cocaine, this wee fukker simply stared me out, motionless, when I approached him in the garden


Balls of steel … well, fat and sunflower seeds to be more accurate!!


SILENT SONG

Just a wee bit of distraction to make me forget ma piles & fistulas … done in my hotel room at Portsmouth on the laptop, using mostly my own images, apart from the fractal fotos

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I wanted to do a song where you the viewer sing it in your head, with your own melody

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Go on … try it!

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The music is by UNDERWORLD

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