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I’ve always delighted in the great British tradition of nonsense poems,
and have composed a complete alphabet of animal poems.
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THE ANACONDA
The Anaconda’s neighbours
Are oblivious to his labours
As he struggles to consume
A full-sized goat
Saying: “I would bite and chew
If I had teeth like you”
And he says it
With a big lump in his throat
.
THE ANTELOPE
The Antelope’s horn
Isn’t there when he’s born
So, it must get a shock
When they grow
“I just got out of bed
And there they were on my head
And what they are for
I don’t know.”
.
.
THE BUFFALO
The Buffalo’s arse and his eyes
Are always surrounded by flies
So he tends to complain
Just now and again
And again, and again,
And again
.
THE CAMEL
The Camel’s prepared
To act quite debonaired
Whenever a party is thrown
When they run out of drink
He just says, with a wink
“That’s OK!
‘Cos I brought my own.”
.
.
.
THE DONKEY
The Donkey hee-haws
‘Cos the size of his baws
Are gigantic, between his arse-cheeks
So, he walks legs apart
Really desperate to fart
Hee-hawing, and straining for weeks
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STU WHO? 