ANIMAL TAILS

.

I’ve always delighted in the great British tradition of nonsense poems,

and have composed a complete alphabet of animal poems.


.

THE ANACONDA

The Anaconda’s neighbours

Are oblivious to his labours

As he struggles to consume

A full-sized goat

Saying: “I would bite and chew

If I had teeth like you”

And he says it

With a big lump in his throat

.

THE ANTELOPE

The Antelope’s horn

Isn’t there when he’s born

So, it must get a shock

When they grow

“I just got out of bed

And there they were on my head

And what they are for

I don’t know.”

.

.

THE BUFFALO

The Buffalo’s arse and his eyes

Are always surrounded by flies

So he tends to complain

Just now and again

And again, and again,

And again

.

THE CAMEL

The Camel’s prepared

To act quite debonaired

Whenever a party is thrown

When they run out of drink

He just says, with a wink

“That’s OK!

‘Cos I brought my own.”

.

.

.

THE DONKEY

The Donkey hee-haws

‘Cos the size of his baws

Are gigantic, between his arse-cheeks

So, he walks legs apart

Really desperate to fart

Hee-hawing, and straining for weeks

.

THE DUNG-BEETLE

The Dung-Beetle tries

To forget the size

Of the dung-ball they constantly roll

They just cannot figure

How it keeps getting bigger

They should try to show more self-control

Copyright Stu Who? – 2006

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