I’ve always delighted in the great British tradition of nonsense poems,

and have composed a complete alphabet of animal poems.



The Anaconda’s neighbours

Are oblivious to his labours

As he struggles to consume

A full-sized goat

Saying: “I would bite and chew

If I had teeth like you”

And he says it

With a big lump in his throat



The Antelope’s horn

Isn’t there when he’s born

So, it must get a shock

When they grow

“I just got out of bed

And there they were on my head

And what they are for

I don’t know.”




The Buffalo’s arse and his eyes

Are always surrounded by flies

So he tends to complain

Just now and again

And again, and again,

And again



The Camel’s prepared

To act quite debonaired

Whenever a party is thrown

When they run out of drink

He just says, with a wink

“That’s OK!

‘Cos I brought my own.”





The Donkey hee-haws

‘Cos the size of his baws

Are gigantic, between his arse-cheeks

So, he walks legs apart

Really desperate to fart

Hee-hawing, and straining for weeks



The Dung-Beetle tries

To forget the size

Of the dung-ball they constantly roll

They just cannot figure

How it keeps getting bigger

They should try to show more self-control

Copyright Stu Who? – 2006

One thought on “ANIMAL TAILS

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