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Barky Barky – Cumbernauld’s finest, a duo comprising the brothers Jim & Johnny Brady, released this track in 1992, and like most of their sensational output of rock/electronix, it was suitably skipped over by the deaf, dumb and blind music industry

I still think it’s a cracker of a track, and the video on Youtube had a duff, mono soundtrack, … so I redubbed this version, so that people can enjoy and share this wee masterpiece.

Jackie Campbell RIP

 

1948 – 2013

 

 

On Tuesday, I attended the funeral of one of my oldest and dearest friends, Jackie Campbell, in a rather splendid, Humanist ceremony, in a crematorium on the shores of Loch Ness.

 

Jackie was the wife of my long-time, best mate, musical buddy, and philosophical musketeer, Willie Campbell, and their lengthy relationship somewhat mirrored my own with my own wife, Maggi, in many ways … most notably in their fiery honesty, their passionate, opinionated beliefs, and their deep, long-lasting love.

 

A pair of mismatched opposites that just shouldn’t work together … but did … and magnificently so.

 

At the age of 65, after a lengthy illness, Jackie succumbed to cancer, and her passing deeply affected all who knew her … and it turns out, that was a helluva lot of people.

 

Jackie had lived and worked for the past few decades in the small town of Drumnadrochit, near Inverness, on the shores of Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. During the years she’d worked as a devoted mother, worked in various hotels, been a very popular, home-help, and eventually worked in a local bakery, and had amassed the widest range of friends, as was evident by the incredibly large and diverse crowd who attended the rather fine sending-off that Wullie and her family had created.

 

From start to finish, it was all rather special, in that the choice of an eco-coffin, beautifully crafted in a cream, basket-weave of wickerwork, was so different from the gothic, dark wooden box that one would normally see. This was further highlighted by the choice of a soft, silver-grey funeral car, led by a young, female, funeral director, dressed in a tasteful, red tartan and black outfit, and totally the opposite of the mournful-faced, man-in-black, undertaker, that we’d normally be expecting.

 

The slow drive along the steep-sided shoreline of Loch Ness gave a true sense of importance, against such a powerful backdrop, and the beautiful grounds of the cemetery and crematorium were a calm and sad reminder of our purpose.

 

The Humanist, non-religious and highly personal, ceremony was such a perfect send-off to Jackie, and a real celebration of her life, her family, her beauty (she once modelled for Vogue magazine), and the deep love that so many people had for such an extra-ordinary woman leading an ordinary life. The respect and love that Jackie had created through her huge extended family and her many friendships, and her straight-talking, no-nonsense approach to life was amply on display, with her favourite music providing a background to the telling of loving stories and humorous anecdotes, from friends and family, creating laughter and tears in equal measure.

 

Willie had written a love-poem to Jackie, which was listed in the order of ceremony “programme” that we’d all been given. I’d read it, and was reduced to tears, earlier that morning at Willie’s house, and was stunned at what a beautiful, heartfelt outpouring of love my old, cynical, hard-core mate had created.

 

Truly beautiful … and here it is:

 

 

WHEN WE FELL IN LOVE

 

Written by William for Jacqualine.

 

When we fell in love

We would Lie

In the stillness

All the night

Entranced by each other’s eyes

And think “Forever”

And say “Forever”

And time stood still

As we watched the beams etching

Love-hearts at the core of the earth

 

And we would sit

Hand-in-hand

With baby inside

And watch this love-story unfold

On the surface of the moon over the loch

 

Years collapse into moments

Moments collapse in on me

I collapse in on you

And we all fall into the centre of everything

 

And there, in the light of bliss

We gaze into each other’s eyes

And time stands still

 

 

There were, also, other beautiful contributions from Jackie’s children and grandchildren, attesting to just how much their lovely granny had meant to all who knew and loved her … and then, as we began to slowly make our way outside, a recording was played of John Lennon’s song “Woman”, with Willie singing the vocals.

 

When I saw it on the ceremony list, along with Lennon’s “Jealous Guy”, I honestly thought to myself, just for a moment:

 

“Oh dear, this could possibly be a bit a bit weird, a bit dodgy” … cos it’s areally hard song to cover, and to do justice to, as Lennon’s version is so definitive.

 

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

 

What a beautifully sung and touching tribute to Jackie it was. Nothing could’ve expressed all our feelings, and especially Willie’s, in tribute to such a special lady. The closing refrain being particularly poignant:

 

“Woman please let me explain

I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain,

So let me tell you again and again and again,

I love you

Yeah, yeah

Now and forever”

 

What a touching, and moving tribute it truly was.

 

Willie and his clan fairly sent Jackie off in style.

 

During my stay in Drumnadrochit I met so many old friends, and lovely acquaintances of Willie and Jackie, and was treated to the warm hospitality of Iona and Lorraine, their lovely daughters, the friendship of Noddy and Blair, and witnessed the warmth and affection that a small, highland community can muster … the assembled mourners of over one hundred guests being catered for, and welcomed, in the local hotel … and all for free … as a mark of the deep respect they too had for Jackie.

 

Jackie Campbell could swear like trooper, and had a rich, strident, and colourful vocabulary, with a laughing delivery when belting out her admonitions to anyone who’d dare be disrespectful, or less than kind, in her presence … and that itself was undoubtedly a major part of her delight and her charm.

 

When I learned, just before leaving, that her workmates in the bakery had prepared a funeral tribute which was a baked version of the letters “FFS” … “For Fucks Sake” … I laughed like a drain, and I swear, I could hear Jackie saying – For Fucks Sake – softly in my ear.

 

Now and Forever!!

 

JACKIE CAMPBELL – RIP FFS


JACKIE-a

An old music track that I played & recorded many years back …

I added lotsa clips and Bazingas, and a classic bit of Airplane

The picture quality is crap, I know … all I could find in a hurry!!

A song I recorded maybe a decade back, with the help of my son, Kahl, and friends, Paul Dowie on guitar, and Paul Cotton doing the recording

The topic of UFO’s and alien overlords still haunts many, whereas I believe the aliens are definitely amongst us … they’re called Capitalists

ALIENS

Unidentified Flying Objectivity
There’s aliens about, so, watch out
It might be you
It might be me
You look alright, but I still got my doubts
Everybody’s suspect, no one’s innocent
All taking part in an alien experiment
Filling us with chemicals and changing our air
I wonder if you are aware

We are surrounded by aliens
In every town, there’s an alien
Don’t look round
There’s an alien
And there’s no running away

Everybody’s talking ’bout alien visitors
Contemplation of invasion
All they need is good solicitors
Legalising murder and mass starvation
Jobs as policemen and policewomen
They ain’t half funny
And they ain’t half-human
It might get better
It might get worse
When Earth becomes the nigger of the Universe

They don’t have tails
They don’t have tentacles
They wear nice suits and gold-rimmed spectacles
Changing slowly
Changing time
Changing bodies and changing minds
Taking over the population
Effecting a mass mutation
Your resistances will be overcome
Your disbelief at what I’m saying
Is the first symptom

We are surrounded by aliens
In every town, there’s an alien
Don’t look round
There’s an alien
And there’s no running away

Unidentified Flying Objectivity
There’s aliens about
So, WATCH OUT

 

 

My latest wee vid, done whilst trying out new editing software, as a learning exercise … and a long, slow fukken annoying process it was

I did the music on an old steam-driven prog … vox added on the laptop … rather lo-fi, but that’s the way I like it

After lotsa mistakes and hassles, I give up … this’ll have to do

The next one will be better … as I dumped that software and will start afresh

The words are from poem that I wrote, performed over a bit of music that I also wrote, and played, … they just fitted perfectly together somehow

“Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings” sounds like screen directions for a crap, porn film  … but it also has that ring of truth to it … Kids can ask the most naive and simplistic of questions that cut through the bullshit and flim-flam, getting right to the heart of the matter … the real questions which need answering

 

This is astonishing … I’m in awe!!

 

 

When I was in my 20’s, I read a rather popular book at the time, called “Bomb Culture, by Jeff Nutall … dealing with the impact of being the first generation raised living in the shadow of nuclear war, and how that affected our attitudes and caused the emergence of the Beat Generation and subsequently, the Freak Generation … the term “hippy” being an Americanism, or media term, which we sorely resented at the time

 

I painted this wee image back then, and it has hung in our living-room for decades.

 

We’re re-decorating … so, it’s changing venue … and I scanned it whilst it’s in storage

 

.

Bomb Kultchur

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BOMB 2 d

The Funny Farm was a co-operative of new comedians, based in Glasgow, in the 1989-90 period. We were a varied bunch, thrown together by necessity in our need to do-it-ourselves, as there was literally no comedy scene whatsoever at that time in Scotland, outside of the mainstream club comics, and pantomime and summer season vaudevilians.

We set up our own gigs in pubs, clubs, and community centres … did improv comedy and workshop nights, and in the course of a couple of years established ourselves to the extent that Scottish Television recorded an eponymous series of stand-up comedy, based around our members, which I hosted each week, on Friday, late-night

The original Funny Farm members were a lovely bunch of people … keen, funny, and great to have as friends … our enthusiasm and obvious enjoyment spilled onto the stage, and it was a great experience to be involved with such a fine bunch

Here’s a foto of myself, Parrot and Bruce Morton

Here are some really low quality shots, taken from a contact sheet I found, of some of the original gang.


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DAVID COSGROVE / KEVIN KOPFSTEIN

FRED MAC AULEY / GORDON ROBERTSON

BORIS VESTA (LEWIS MACLEOD)

MAY MACREADIE / STEWART MACDONALD

The Funny Farm tv series, was produced by the wonderful Kim Kinnie, whose Comedy Store connections in London allowed the show to feature guest artistes of an astonishing quality and pedigree, such as Bill Hicks, Lee Evans, Jo Brand, Jimmy Tingle, Sean Lock, Nick Revell, Paul Merton, Eddie Izzard, The Comedy Store Players, and practically every good comedian who appeared at the Edinburgh Fringe over the years the show was broadcast

CLICK ON THE DRAWINGS TO ENLARGE

I’d forgotten about these illustrations, done for a wee story I wrote


CROW-1A-nu

 

The first drawing is a view of the Land Of The Celts, where Musky The Wuskie was born

 

The second is an illustration of The Grand Wazoo, indulging in the ceremonial act of, Sky Ski-ing , and was done to accompany a story I wrote about a wee character called Musky The Wusky – who is trying to save his village from the influence of the marauding Pictish hordes.

The long road you see in the 2nd drawing, runs through a 23-mile long canyon, which was eventually flooded, and is now known as Loch Ness

WAZOO-1a-nu

And, here is Musky, leaving home to set off to find his fortune and save the tribes colour fields, where all the world’s colours and hues are grown & harvested.

MUSKY 1 copy (2)

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