CATS
Chairman Miaow
Cat A Tonic
Blood Music – DUM DUM
A song I wrote and recorded, as DUM DUM, with Paul and Kahl , at Paul Cotton’s wee studio in Edinburgh, sometime in the late 90’s
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The song was originally inspired by seeing a famous Esso advert for petrol, which featured a tiger climbing in snowy mountains, which I thought was quite ironic as their jungle environments were being destroyed by the same corporate greed that Esso was (in)famous for, and that’s why tigers were being driven to live in higher ground, to escape man’s destruction. It seemed symbolic of our environmental fight with corporate insanity.
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More Animal Tails
Since I got so many nice reactions to the last lot,
https://stuwho.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/animal-tails/
here’s some more nonsense
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And, especially for my friend Wendy Lee, as a wee cheer-me-up,
cos she’s done the same for me
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THE CRAB
The Crab has a shell
And sharp claws as well
And they walk
In a side-aways motion
Underwater for miles
’Cos a crab’s got rock piles
And they can’t find
A suitable lotion
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THE DUNG-BEETLE
The Dung-Beetle tries
To forget the size
Of the dung-ball they constantly roll
They just cannot figure
How it keeps getting bigger
They should try to show more self-control
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THE ELEPHANT
Elephants feel
That they got a bad deal
‘Cos elephants can’t jump at all
In sporting events
They’d make gigantic dents
In the hurdles, and tracks
And footballs
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THE FLY
The Fly
Having flew flights
Flees flickering floodlights
And flammable flossy filoux
As he flip-flops, and flaps
There’s a flaw there, perhaps
That can flatten a fly with the flu
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THE GIRAFFE
The Giraffe’s neck is long
So, when he sings a song
His high notes can shatter wine glasses
His songs, ‘though popular
Won’t make him a star
‘Cos they go over the heads of the masses
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THE GOLDFISH
The Goldfish has a moving tale
That daily gets him ‘round his jail
A see-through prison made of glass
How slowly all his hours must pass
His memory is very short
Yours would be too, if you were caught
And spent your life inside a bowl
‘Twould shurely break your heart and shoal
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THE GORILLA
The Gorilla’s a beast
To avoid at a feast
As his etiquette lacks any manners
Lounging in cocktail bars
Eating Cuban cigars
‘Cos he thinks they are chocolate bananers
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THE HIPPOPOTAMUS
Hippo-Potamus is Greek
For River-Horse
And as we speak
In the Nile’s muddy rivers
There’s a man who delivers
Milk by hippo and cart, twice a week
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THE IGUANA
The iguana sits
On a rock, and spits and shits
And sits and shits
And spits and sits
And shits and spits
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THE JELLYFISH
The Jellyfish floats
In the sea
And some boats
Run them over without any warning
So, they silently squeal
‘Cos jellyfish feel
It’s a bad way to start off your morning
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THE KANGAROO
The Kangaroo jumps
So imagine the bumps
That he’d get on his head from low bridges
So he lives in Australia
Where it’s flat
But the failure
To evolve
Stopped them inventing fridges
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THE LION
The Lion controls
All the best waterholes
‘Cos lions are not known as wimps
He’d be no fun at all
If he drank alcohol
Staggering home
Looking for fish and chimps
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THE LLAMA
The Llama’s domain
Is in mountain terrain
So he never wears pinstripes or spats
He spits and he drinks
And god knows what he thinks
Of Peruvians in bowler hats
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Copyright Stu Who? – 2006
Cat In A Box
This made me giggle … on a very non-giggly day!!
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